i have been reading everyone’s best of 2023 lists and thinking “hey man, that sounds like a thing i should do” but when i finally sat down to do it i realized that while i started notes in my phone in december of last year with the full intention of keeping track of the things i paid attention to and enjoyed i………………….simply did not do that. so here’s what i came up with.
all the apps i pay for and the possible reasons why
do you guys ever look at the subscriptions section on your phones?? and, if you do, do you have any idea what the hell is going on in there???? i didn’t know this feature even existed until today, and it has been illuminating:
-apple one (not sure? but i think this is how i watch that cool godzilla show)
-april coloring (i enjoy coloring, so much so that i gotta wear a wrist brace now)
-audible (i pretend to listen to audiobooks/i never remember to cancel it)
-better sleep (my fave sounds: green noise, wind in palm trees, forest rain, coffee shop, metro train, whale’s journey, immersed)
-clean email (i thought this service in theory could keep freaks and weirdos from emailing me but in practice it just diverts my email to places i can’t find it and is mostly useless, my subscription expires in october)
-luminary (i paid to listen to one podcast one time and never shut it down)
-paramount+ (unlimited survivor episodes)
-peacock (unlimited yellowstone episodes)
-slate plus (honestly? i don’t know what this is about)
-starz (old power episodes)
-the new yorker (cosplay as a well-informed person)
-wondery+ (supporting my friend’s podcasts)
-wow presents plus (gay stuff)
-youtube (that “free trial” i signed up for in 2018 is really fucking me sideways up the ass, huh)
i am happiest when doing crossword puzzles and listening to music, and this year i did a lot of puzzles and listened to a lot of music. i made a playlist of all of the songs i kept returning to this year, and there’s no theme other than i spent a lot of time with them on repeat either in my headphones or my dumb ass car. anyway:
-a link to my 2023 jams
-a link to a book of puzzles i just got and the best pencils
some TV shows i remember watching and liking this year:
detroiters
a murder at the end of the world
wrestlers
poker face
hard knocks
beef
the last of us
jury duty
reservation dogs
monarch: godzilla (or whatever it’s called)
the other two
i buy this shit with my own money
the sweatshirt i reach for the most: women’s nike funnel-neck hoodie
the basic, boring glasses i wear more than all my interesting, artsy ones combined: warby parker durand in clear or whiskey tortoise
the cheap, unfancy body lotion my dermatologist suggested that literally fixed my skin in a week: amlactin intensive healing
the transdermal patches i used to get better after i was in the hospital for a week due to vitamin B12 deficiency: these dudes work!!!!!!!!!!! (i am not a doctor)
the reason we still have basic cable: inside
my cell phone case: trust me it’s cool
i have this candle burning in my office all the time: detroit rose candle in neroli
the best blush sticks: huda beauty cheeky tint
the deodorant sarah jessica parker told me smelled amazing on me: aesop is expensive but if you think of it as cheap perfume instead of pricey deo it’s justifiable
greatest toilet paper in the world: charmin ultra strong (sponsorship, when???)
i don’t like seltzer: but i love drinking this shit in tap water
best beauty trick i learned about this year: faux laminated brows
if you saw me in LA i was wearing these shoes: brooks ghost max
the best fat lady brassiere: cacique lightly lined comfort bliss no-wire bra
delicious gluten-free snacks i purchase by the truckload whenever i happen to find them at homegoods: nico’s crunchy rice rolls
our cats drink out of: this cool-ass fountain
80% of my clothes come from thief and bandit and: i wore these belladonna pants on tour a lot and oOooOo this sweatshirt is new and i’m getting it now
i started using this hippie nasal spray bc of a hippie influencer: beekeeper’s natch
if you have a baby i will buy your baby jammies from here: hanna andersson
the water bottle is like so much i bought an extra: owala freesip
the best lunch beans: white bean salad with anchovy vinaigrette
my favorite dance party speaker: megaboom
the best sports writing: defector dot com
my favorite bowls: felt + fat confetti
the greatest, most indispensable, desert island item in my life: lectro fan white noise machine
i’m always reading but i always give the books away when i’m done because the sheer volume of having them around feels very stressful, and i didn’t make a list this year but i’m really gonna try in 2024. i think the book i loved the most this year was sheena patel’s i’m a fan because it’s just so viscerally relatable and smart and funny and listen to her description of this woman the narrator is stalking on instagram who is sleeping with the same man she is: “she has opinions about household objects which i have never given a thought to before; firm taste in the types of beeswax candles to burn, lays exquisite cloth on her table in anticipation of dinner, knows where to buy limited edition pottery from well-regarded potters, she will happily spend $300 on a vase where she displays really, really organic fennel flowers, by which she says there is organic and then organic, buys a $500 ring for herself during a time of financial strife for the rest of the world and shows it off in a selfie.” i mean??? the entire book is filled with sentence like that, the kind that make your stomach lurch in recognition. IT’S SO BREATH-CATCHINGLY GOOD. more good books i’ve read of late:
hot springs drive lindsay hunter
death valley melissa broder
the appeal janice hallett
camp damascus chuck tingle
how to sell a haunted house grady hendrix
some podcasts i listen to that i don’t think i’ve talked about here before:
text me back! (lindy has a podcast now!!!)
higher learning
tooth and claw
glamorous trash (linking my guest-starring episode about vivica a fox, who deserved an oscar for her delivery of the word “bitch” in the iconic 2001 masterpiece two can play that game featuring morris chestnut and gabrielle union)
the new yorker critics at large
decoder ring
otherppl with brad listi (incredibly well-informed, thoughtful, deep dive interviews with writers! my episode is almost two hours long!!)
lastly, i had a book come out this year and it was on zero “best of” lists. it was nobody’s favorite. and that’s okay. i write almost exclusively about piss and shit, i get it!! i don’t know if it’s bad manners to be like YEAH I NOTICED but it feels disingenuous to act like i don’t check. if i see a list, i’m scrolling through it at warp speed in a glazed-over dull stupor, anxious to see an orange square. i’m proud of my book; it was fun to write and it made me laugh and i didn’t feel scared of anything i put in it, and those are the things that are most important to me in the long run. i hope you read it, i hope you laughed, and i hope it made you feel a little more connected to me or a little less alone in the world. let’s keep liking things, aight? (and occasionally writing them down, i promise!)