who's on judge mathis today? #258
an idiotic recap of the greatest syndicated courtroom show of all time
plaintiff: sonja from kannapolis, north carolina. my new favorite car game when driving around kalamazoo county is “what’s that weed store pun?” because it’s legal here and they’re literally everywhere and all these country ass roads have huge billboards that are like “experience ~herbana~ right off exit 23” and “25% off flower at bud and mary’s!” and it makes me laugh so much. anyway there’s a dispensary here called cannamazoo (get it!!?!!?!!!?!?!??) and when i saw where sonja was from i said, aloud to myself alone at the dining room table at 11:13pm eastern, “she lives in a weed store?” anyway, i’m stoned!
defendant: brendley from kannapolis, north carolina. ooh if they’re sisters these genetics are gorgeous and strong, and if they’re not forget i fucking said that. brendley looks very, um……………..your mom’s vegetarian friend who takes african dance class on saturday and won’t see movies made by male directors. you know what i mean? she has perfect makeup and her braids are swept up very regally and she’s wearing the deep, earthy, burnt orange, intricately-embroidered, vaguely ethnic-looking blazer of a woman who reads a lot of bell hooks and audre lorde!
the complaint: sonja says brendley claims to be married to her father (hold up) but she doesn’t know if it’s true (ohmygod) and claims that she is keeping her from her dad, who has dementia, so she’s suing for emotional distress. a (possibly fraudulent) stepmom versus stepkid case??? prepare for me to spiral through to the core of the earth!!
what does she want: $5000, the max! countersuit because it’s been awhile: brendley would like $5000 for her own different kind of emotional distress!!! this should be fun!!!!!!
how it went down: sonja very somberly says that she’s bummed she has to be in court today because she’s been denied access to her father by “the person standing to [her] left.” first of all, that’s a hilarious way to emphasize to someone how much you hate them. sonja says she calls her that because she’s not sure who brendley is or if she’s even actually married to her father. (more on that later, i think? i hope???)
sonja says that brendley married her father in 2004, left him in 2013, then showed back up in 2014. sonja says that since brendley’s return she can’t speak to her father and has been banned from their property and when the judge asks her why she believes that, she says “i was banned from the property on march 21st when my granddaughter was abducted” WHAT “and i feel it was a set up.” you know what, i don’t know what sonja is going to say next but what i do know is that maybe this isn’t a case that should be on low stakes daytime television????
sonja says she dropped her granddaughter off at her father’s house and the child immediately called her and told her that brendley said if she ever came back on the property she’d have her arrested. greg is like “and you have no idea where this animosity comes from?” and sonja says she doesn’t but then a second later says “well…………….i supposedly told the woman to my left that i was going to ruin her marriage.”
well now i absolutely love this. sonja’s on here cosplaying as a cinderella who just wants to spend time with her poor sick dad but is refused by her evil stepmother when in reality she’s just a pissed off, bratty (old) kid who didn’t want daddy to get her a new mommy!!! brendley says that she believes the problem started years ago when sonja and her granddaughters were living with them. brendley was running a charter school at the time and hired sonja to work for her, but HR eventually figured out that sonja had lied on her job application. brendley says she took sonja aside and told her that she could resign to spare her the embarrassment of being fired.
sonja resigned, but as a result became increasingly disrespectful toward brendley, ignoring her at home and talking shit and encouraging the children to do the same. greg turns to sonja and is like “see? she’s very clear about what the problem between you is, so i believe her.” yeah sonja fucked up, she should’ve come to court and said “i hate this bitch and she hates me but i should still be allowed to see my dad!!!” idk if that would’ve worked but it would’ve damn sure been better than whatever she attempted today!
brendley continues, saying that until the incident with the school (which, like, what the fuck was she supposed to do??? you can’t be lying about your shit and work around kids!!!!!!! come on) everything with sonja had been fine. judge mathis asks brendley if she’s ever denied sonja visitation with her father and she says of course not, as a matter of fact the doctor told her that the more time dad spends with family the better it is for his disease. greg then turns to sonja and asks her to give him a specific example of a time brendley has refused to let her see her father, and she says that one time the brendley and dad went to arizona?? and he wasn’t answering his phone??? or returning her texts?????
y’all already know that both of my parents have been dead since before cell phones were invented, BUT: i have two surrogate dads and mel composes every text message with the formality of a person corresponding with the president of a large nation and jim literally never responds to anything i text him ever at any time. that is just how old dudes are!!!!!!!
this case is fucking weird. sonja speaks like she’s extremely exasperated, truly like she just got hit by a bus on her way into court, and it feels like there’s something that maybe she doesn’t want to say? what even is this?? the judge asks sonja if brendley has a restraining order against her (remember earlier how she said she’d get arrested if she went to her house?) and sonja says no, but in the state of north carolina if you enter someone’s home without their permission that’s considered trespassing and you can be arrested. girl, what? isn’t that the rule in all the fucking states??? brb gonna run and file a small claims lawsuit on every single human being on earth because i would be arrested if i trespassed on their property!!!
brendley says that sonja didn’t just make idle threats about destroying her marriage, she often regularly showed up at the house threatening her because she didn’t want her with her father. brendley says that sonja and her girls would let themselves in and move through the house like they lived there and when brendley was like “wtf?” sonja told her that she could do whatever the fuck she wanted because it was her father’s house and brendley couldn’t do shit about it. babe, excuse me?????? i’m trying to imagine one of these children who lives in my house that i feed and clothe stepping to me like this and i literally can’t? like i really want to describe to you how i’d react (poorly, duh) but i literally cannot conjure the image of my adult stepson walking past me in my own goddamn living room like i’m a piece of furniture talking about “fuck you, this is my mama’s house.” my brain would short circuit!!!!!!!!!!!
sonja says that the reason she did that was because brendley filed court papers to get an order of protection against her. greg is like yeah i bet she did since you kept letting yourself into her house? and sonja clarifies that brendley tried to get the order before that, and greg cuts her off and says what i just did: something is missing and we are not getting the entire story.
brendley steps in here (thank you god) and JACKPOT: she says that a month after the dad was diagnosed, sonja called adult protection services and told them that brendley was trying to kill her father (omg) by denying him his medications and isolating him from the rest of his family, resulting in her being investigated by the state. i’m sorry but you call dcfs on me? motherfucking right you can’t come in my house!!!!!!! that’s some lowdown dirty shit, brother. weaponizing the state against this woman, for what?????
greg asks sonja, with considerable disgust, “did you do this?” she sighs then eventually says “yes and no.” she says she didn’t tell them brendley was trying to kill her father, just that she was denying him proper care and medication. oh okay, is that all??? greg asks where sonja got that information from and she pauses, sighs, then stares in silence for (i counted) twelve whole seconds (an eternity in a seven minute court case!!!!!!!!) before saying “could you ask your question again, please?” again i say: WHAT. he again asks her where that intel came from and she says that brendley told her she wasn’t buying her father’s medications because they were too expensive.
the judge asks brendley if that’s true and she says no but sonja continues, saying that the medication was only $12 when brendley had told her it was $200 so then she started accompanying her father to his doctor appointments because she didn’t trust her stepmom, then she stops talking for a really long time again before she starts to cry. is there a such thing as therapist court??? (honestly i need to go there for me. this spooky ass case is weirding me out!!!!)
the ruling: greg turns to brendley (sonja is standing behind her podium silently weeping) and she says that she’s had to endure four different dcfs investigations all of which concluded that her husband hadn’t been harmed and wasn’t in any danger. is there no fine for prank calling child services? how was she allowed to do this so many times??? as for the texts and calls brendley says her husband has both alzheimer’s and dementia and he’s lost three cell phones so far this year, which is why she had a landline installed so he can be reached at any time. the judge asks if she has proof of the complaints that were filed and brendley says the office is going to eventually fax them over, but even if they don’t who cares? we all know she’s telling the truth!!!
greg asks sonja if she filed four complaints against brendley and sonja says “it was only two.” he then says “and what were the findings of those investigations?” and sonja says she doesn’t know and he says “you were so concerned about your father’s welfare that you called dcfs but you didn’t even follow up to see what they’d found? either time?!” well it’s a wrap, folks. we all know what happens after the snake catches the mouse between his teeth. in a surprise twist, though: $2000 for brendley!!! now she can get for real married!!!!!!! and free that child prisoner!!!!!!!!!! (seriously, why did we not find out what any of that bonkers shit was about???)
did uncle greg say anything fucked up to anyone: “ma’am, that’s enough. something is just not going well for you today.”
*bangs gavel*